It's news stories like these that make me wish the Puritans had drowned at sea on their journey to America.
It seems a Barney-Fife-type deputy in southwest Florida finds Speedos so offensive that he'll give a trespassing citation to someone outside his jurisdiction.
Beach Bob likes to sunbathe in a Speedo.
Nearly every cloudless morning for more than 10 years, he’s wheeled his tattered lounger down to the same spot, which he says is due west of where the boardwalk opens onto the sand at Bonita Beach, and sets up camp for the day.
And so his retirement was going. Sun-drenched, uneventful. Until one day a Lee County Sheriff’s deputy stopped by and wrote him a warning for trespassing.
The reason?
“Exposed scrotum,” the notice read. “Never return to Bonita Beach Main Access.”
But it turns out that, belied by his self-proclaimed “super-lazy” lifestyle, Beach Bob (more properly known as Robert Hezzelwood, 61, retired court reporter and Bonita Springs resident of 16 years) is a heckuva fighter. Not the sort to let even a warning of a misdemeanor charge go unchallenged.
Not when it comes to his blue Speedo.
Not when he says he was falsely accused.
Eventually Bob got the charge thrown out of court.
Americans are too uptight about their' body and those of others. So what if the guy is old? So what if he may have less than a perfect body. If he enjoys laying out in the sun and soaking up some rays in a Speedo, so be it. I've been to Bonita Beach. There's PLENTY of beach to go around. Offended folk can go elsewhere down the beach (especially vacationers).
Sorry. End of rant. Can you tell this is one of my pet peeves?
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