Iris was the Ancient Greek Goddess of the Rainbow, connecting heaven and earth by bringing messages from the Gods down to us mere mortals. So, if Iris were checking guys out in their undies, I'm wondering what type would she prefer? I'm assuming, and maybe I should not, that this amazing swift and ethereal traveler would like a guy in rainbow underwear and not solids, simple stripes, designs, or cartoon characters. Although she might simply prefer whites (you know, it's that connection to her favored right-of-way, she sky and billowing clouds), Iris was such a colorful goddess, being the Rainbow Brite of her day, that I can't believe she'd want a man in a pair of plain white boxers or briefs. I hunted around and discovered a few of the more colorful rainbow inspired designs. Here they are.
The boxer briefs to the right are from the Bjorn Borg line. You remember him-- that strikingly blonde, scruffy Scandinavian tennis player who won his share of titles. His rainbow undies... Well, let's put it this way, I do not want to be in Bjorn Borg's underwear. Not at all. The colors, style, cut and mismatched patterns make me think hangover (and I don't mean the kind that occurs when a guy has a huge package). These are like a bad trip in the 60s with added flashbacks. I think these make Iris feel nauseous.
Next in line is Snyder's tight-fitting rainbow brief. There's something about this pair of undies that reminds me of those really bad Hollywood special effects from the 1970s that were used to indicate time travel or some type of black hole warp experience. In many ways, I feel they look better than the Borg underwear and yet there seems to be something not quite right. I'm thinking that maybe a guy's trunk was not meant to be wrapped up in a rainbow. The Goddess Iris, I believe, would be turned off by these muted colors. I mean, lime in a rainbow? I've never seen it. I've witnessed all shades of green stretching across the great blue sky but NEVER lime.
The Active Man Rainbow Pride Jock, which comes in various looks, some with a wide waistband, as pictured above, and others with thinner band, is starting to get it right. I like the bold colors, the sequencing and overall structural design of the jock. It offers a clean, tailored look and, unlike the other two, isn't overwhelming in terms of color. Partly, I believe, because we get to see some flesh. Still, there's something about the white band that I find off-putting. Iris, baby, thumbs up or thumbs down?
Okay, for my cash, this G-string special from ABC says rainbow the way a goddess thinks it should be said. The colors are rich and the thin, red waist strap is a very nice touch. Also, the bands go across the horizon, which is not only reminiscent of a real rainbow but offers some interesting tension due to the fact that the male organ runs vertically, cutting through the rainbow. Iris would love this little number. She'd feel right at home, hanging with a guy who is hanging in this colorful special by ABC. Yes, it is as simple as a-b-c, this colorful piece of cloth is it. Enjoy the rainbow!





























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