The Battle of the Bulge

No, this is NOT about the famous World War II battle during which the American commander when asked to surrender by the German commander sent back the one-word reply, “Nuts.” (Although the reply is appropriate for a men’s underwear blog.)

Nor is it about the glut of overweight Americans that crowd our supermarket aisles and plant their fat butts in front of their TVs for hours and hours eating fattening foods to excess and then lamely attempt to battle their fat induced bulges by going on another diet. That’s def a different bulge and not the topic of this blog.

This bulge is the one a guy has where the rubber meets the probe. And it’s about the new Andrew Christian “shock jock.” Christian has developed numerous products that are designed to give a guy a better package. I’m on record as being someone who prefers truth in advertising and a reality check when it comes to attracting attention with my package. I’d rather not get a possible partner’s emotions and equipment in a state of excitement by indicating there’s more there than I’ve actually got.

Andrew Christian’s Extreme Frontal Enhancing Technology offers some firsts for this men’s underwear pioneer. First, it has a padded cup that’s hidden in the frontal area of the brief. It’s designed to “help shape and enhance the front ‘package of a man.’” Second, the pad is removable and may be washed separately.  But are these “firsts” effective?

This is supposed to be natural looking? Now don’t get me wrong, I love a lot of what Andrew Christian has designed. But I wonder if he’s not trying too hard (excuse the pun) with his Extreme Frontal Enhancing Technology. Funny, you can abbreviate the concept as EFET. (Say it and it sounds like someone with a Boston accent saying the word “effort.” You can hear one of the Kennedys saying it. “Andrew Christian has made the EFET to help every man stand out in the crowd with his Extreme Frontal Enhancing Technology.”)

Maybe there’s too much EFET here. What do you think?

Comments

[Aaron]

I bought 4 pairs of the Show it brief style and like them a lot. The same can be said for the bamboo trunks, while the bamboo brief line was too constricting for me in there not being enough room in the pouch. The almost naked bamboo modal brief was ok for being a single layered pouch for Summer wear; something similar to the Obviously Line for pouched enhancing briefs.

Extra padding means extra moisture and heat build up - not for me. That would require too many adjustments while wearing them.

Hom with their pouched horizontal design on their original HO1 is another choice for a well crafted high quality brief or trunk.

CN2 does a great option in their bamboo line up with their pouch and great streachability with the open weave of the fabric and excellent moisture transfer, as with microfiber.

In the end one has to decide what they want for the bulge option in their underwear and then what they wear over it.